DOOL Discussion Group
Message Responses
Subject: I agree with ML here. I just didn't know how to say it as well as she has! eom fuzzwuzz
Response Posted by: fuzzwuzz
Date Posted: Thu May 8 19:29:43 2008
Message:
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Subject: yep..after 9 yrs of sports with my son and now going 2nd yr of high school it's tough. unless this guy is totally outright and blatant, i'm w/ML. just keep an eye as to what's going on. --carmen
Response Posted by: carmen
Date Posted: Thu May 8 21:44:53 2008
Message:
Subject: Thanks, ML, fuzzwuzz, and carmen! I do agree that it is tough to keep an eye on all the boys. They're all 11-12 year olds, so it's a tough age. I have complete respect for coaches that are there for the right reasons. There are some coaches that only coach so their kids get to play where they want them to. Kody and I had a talk today, and a good practice. I just told him we'll keep an eye on how things go, but we will go in with a good attitude every single time. You're right, they ARE resilient, I just hate to see my baby not enjoying something that he really loves.--Sarah
Response Posted by: Sarah
Date Posted: Thu May 8 22:31:54 2008
Message:
Subject: I'm glad he had a good practice. If he really loves sports, he has to get used to getting benched and being spoken to harshly. Again, he shouldn't be demeaned, and he shouldn't be the target of cursing. But coaches get tougher as the kids get older...And here's the thing, too. Learning to handle criticism is a very important part of becoming an adult. This is part of the training...eom (ML)
Response Posted by: ML
Date Posted: Thu May 8 23:14:13 2008
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Subject: Yeah, but what about his rudeness towards Sarah? Should that really be tolerated? I don't think there's any excuse for that. It may be a tough job, but it was his choice to take it. eom--RK
Response Posted by: RK
Date Posted: Fri May 9 9:45:53 2008
Message:
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Subject: Well, there are a couple of aspects to this. First of all, it is so much better working with kids than with parents. I've learned that over the years,,,Now, Sarah, I'm not talking about you in this one. I'm talking in general. A great majority of parents cannot hear anything negative about their kids. They can't hear that the kid isn't the most talented, the best behaved, etc. So if you do something enough years, you really would rather deal with kids than with parents. The coach was abrupt and rude...no doubt about it. But let's remember...he's a human being. Who knows what kind of day he had had with those kids alone...let alone work or whatever. If he was rude again, I'd call him on it. And I'd do it myself in a calm, cold manner. The one time I ever did that was when The Daughter's volleyball coach was a COMPLETE jackass and cursed the girls out, telling them that they sucked after a tournament. Unacceptable. I don't use that word in my own house, and adolescent girls don't have to hear it out of a coach's mouth, let alone other words that he used. I met him after school with money from the concession stand...and I told him off very beautifully and very calmly. And he had to listen to me, because I had the money. Did it make a difference? I really don't know. But there's no place for cursing from coaches at the educational or recreational level. As for attitude? They are human beings...but it shouldn't be a habit. And pulling a kid from a sport for something like that makes absolutely no sense. As I said, it's just going to get more intense as the kid gets older. Gotta start growing up sometime...eom (ML)
Response Posted by: ML
Date Posted: Fri May 9 10:41:18 2008
Message:
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Subject: Also, yeah, it was his choice to take it. But do you have any idea how hard it is to get people to coach at any level? In some cases, impossible. So I give the guy credit for putting in the time. eom (ML)
Response Posted by: ML
Date Posted: Fri May 9 10:43:14 2008
Message:
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Subject: I don't know ... If he was rude due to having a bad day, I would think he would have apologized the next time. I guess I have pretty high expectations of niceness from people (and I don't think that's a bad thing). But I do see where you're coming from. I'm sure coaches and teachers have to put up with a lot of nonsense from parents. Still, in the end ... they are the parents. They have every right to be concerned about their children, and coaches should do their best to address their concerns. That doesn't mean putting up with nonsense ... but if a parent feels that his/her child was wrongly punished, then agree to discuss it at some later time or something ... eom--RK
Response Posted by: RK
Date Posted: Fri May 9 11:19:33 2008
Message:
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Subject: Oh, I do give them credit, if they're good (not meaning good at coaching the sport, but good at dealing with the kids and the schedules and all that). It's certainly not a job I'd want. But like with any job, it should only be done if done properly. I'd rather just get rid of the coaches and let the children play on their own than have to deal with ones with bad attitudes. The point is to get kids to be physically active and learn to deal with other, right? I would think a supervisor is more important than a coach, and supervisors can alternate. eom--RK
Response Posted by: RK
Date Posted: Fri May 9 11:23:04 2008
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Subject: But that's not the system. eom (ML)
Response Posted by: ML
Date Posted: Fri May 9 12:04:20 2008
Message:
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Subject: Oh, ML ... you know I'm not interested in what *is* ... I'm interested in what *should be*. If the system is one which results in problems that can be avoided, it should be changed. On the other hand, maybe the system is just fine, and it's just a matter of some people not knowing how to deal with it properly. I don't know which it is. eom--RK
Response Posted by: RK
Date Posted: Fri May 9 14:46:15 2008
Message:
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