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Topic: Update if anyone's interested...


Topic Posted by: GailJ
Date Posted: Thu Oct 29 18:03:23 2009
Additional Comments: OK, so the real estate agent is coming to my house on Monday to get pictures of the house and get it listed for me.  My husband is being very cordial and helpful in getting the house ready for sale.  He's also being very nice about spliting up our "stuff".  He hasn't made one mention of him getting help for his drinking...and he knows that is the reason for us splitting up.  Well maybe it will hit him once we're apart.  I will be moving in to my new home between now and Thanksgiving.  I'm sort of looking forward to it and sort of dreading it all at the same time.  I don't know if that makes sense but I'm so confused and emotional right now, one minute I'm cool, the next minute I'm a blubbering mess.  I went to the Al=Anon meeting last week and am going to go back tomorrow night.  I'm still not sure if thats what I need but I've decided to give it at least a few months before I make up my mind.  This is all such a hurricane of action going on at once and I really don't know how I'm gonna get through this.  Thank God for my BFF Gail...she's my friend, my boss and soon to be landlord.  I don't know what I would do without her.  For those of you who are prayers, please pray for me and for my husband.  I need God's help in directing me and giving me the courage to do what I know needs to be done.  Thanks.  I love y'all.


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Posted by: HockeyChick
Date posted: Fri Oct 30 14:52:55 2009
Message:
Keeping you in my thoughts... you are one strong lady, I have faith that you'll find your way!

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Posted by: DebR
Date posted: Fri Oct 30 14:19:00 2009
Message:
It takes courage to change your life like you are doing and I wish you all the best.  Being a romantic, I hope your husband comes around and fights for your marriage (in the right way, of course).  Take care...

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Posted by: Scottie
Date posted: Fri Oct 30 10:12:24 2009
Message:
Hi Gail, I'm glad you are taking a step forward rather than continue in a mire, so to speak. Glad too that you have your boss friend and the little house to move into. I have a friend in a similar boat, but she has a 16 year old son, and feels she should stay there for a while, but is making plans for her future move.

I remember one of the other posters saying she went an an Al-anon meeting and wasn't impressed, but would give it a fair trial, and is now extremely keen on the process, so give it time, and you'll find support both there and here.

Love, Scottie

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Posted by: KarenH
Date posted: Fri Oct 30 10:04:24 2009
Message:
Gail,  I'm glad you have the courage to make some changes to make your life better.  It will be tough, but stay strong and keep the faith.  You are so lucky to have such a great friend in your boss.  Hopefully your husband will realize how serious the situation has become and make some changes in his life as well.  <>

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Posted by: Traci
Date posted: Fri Oct 30 10:00:55 2009
Message:
Wow, everything is happening so quickly for you! I, personally, take that as a sign that you are doing the right thing. I am sorry it has come to this, but so proud of you for taking charge of the situation! (((HUGS)))

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Posted by: ML
Date posted: Fri Oct 30 9:22:56 2009
Message:
Gail, I'm glad he's taking this so well...but keep in mind, he probably doesn't take this all seriously. Hopefully, he gets it...in case he doesn't yet, have yourself prepared...

I hope he gets his act together...

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Posted by: GailJ
Date posted: Fri Oct 30 8:51:16 2009
Message:

I literally got tears in my eyes and a lump in my throat by reading all of your responses.  You are the greatest group of ladies and gentlemen ever.  I'm so glad I stumbled upon this discussion board...I've never ever seen an episode of DOOL in my life...I believe I was led here by my higher power.  I truly DO!!!  So this is for all of you, my DOOLIE FRIENDS.  I feel I know you all and hope to be friends with all of you for a very long time!!!!!

                       

        ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥

               xxxxxoooooxxxxxxooooooxxxxxxooooooxxxxxxx

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  • Awww Gail, you're such a sweetheart! ((hugs)) I'm sorry you are going through such a rough time. But it will get better. One step at a time and keep your eye on your goal. Sometimes we have to sink really low before we are able to find our way back up. Sephora

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    Posted by: Sephora
    Date posted: Fri Oct 30 8:33:56 2009
    Message:
    Gail, I'm so sorry. I have obviously missed a lot since I haven't been around. I remember you mentioning your husband's drinking previously. It sounds like you've made the decision to separate. I can only imagine what an emotional roller coaster this is for you. Hang in there...it sounds like you are doing the right thing for you. I wish you the best, Gail.

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  • Thank you for your words of encouragement Sephora. I really NEED that right now. GJ

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    Posted by: SusieB
    Date posted: Fri Oct 30 7:39:26 2009
    Message:

    It wont be easy Gail, but I applaud you for having the strength to do what you need to do.

    Give Al-Anon a chance.  I went to meeting when I was going through similar issues and it does help, because these are people who KNOW what you are going through, they can empathise and most important they wont judge you.

     

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  • SusieB your friendship and words of encouragement mean the world to me. THANKS. GJ

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    Posted by: SherylM
    Date posted: Fri Oct 30 7:31:22 2009
    Message:
    I wish you all the best Gail, you're doing the right thing!

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  • Thank you SherylM....I appreciate your support! GJ

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    Posted by: Ginger G
    Date posted: Fri Oct 30 7:20:32 2009
    Message:
    Hang in there Gail, you're doing the right thing for yourself and that's what really matters.  We're all wishing the best for you.

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  • Thanks Ginger...wow I feel like I have a whole group of cheerleaders for Team Gail! I can't tell you all how much it means to me! GJ

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    Posted by: sandy
    Date posted: Fri Oct 30 5:28:02 2009
    Message:
    You are going through the normal emotions of someone that is giving up a dream. Unfortunately dreams don't always come true but we get through it anyway. I know how frightened I was when I went through this but in my case it gave me back my life. I have never regretted one minute of my choice. Alcoholics will drag you down with them if you allow it. You are worth way more than that.

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  • sandy I thank you for sharing your feelings...it really helps to know that others have walked in my shoes and made it through to the other side! GJ

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    Posted by: bella tx
    Date posted: Thu Oct 29 23:00:28 2009
    Message:
    Gail, I just wanted to offer you a big hug. You are very brave and courageous. I wish you all the best.

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  • thanks for the hug bellatx....I wish I could give you all a great big group hug!!! GJ

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    Posted by: Lisa P
    Date posted: Thu Oct 29 22:27:54 2009
    Message:
    You are amazing.. I admire your courage and determination to help make your life better. I wish you the best. It may get hard before it gets better, but I am proud of you :-))

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  • Thanks for your friendship and encouragement LisaP. I really don't feel very brave right now. But with all my friends help I know I'll get through it. GJ

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    Posted by: fuzzwuzz
    Date posted: Thu Oct 29 21:09:13 2009
    Message:
    You're part of our family so, of course, we're concerned about you!!  I cannot begin to imagine the emotions of ending a marriage.  Be very, very kind to yourself and just go through the motions as best you can.  Thank God you have Gail!  I still wish I could be there just to hug you and give you encouragement!!!  I'm so glad you're going to Al-Anon!!  Remember you are doing this for you right now.  Who knows what the future may bring but you are doing what's right for you at this time!! 

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  • Yes Fuzzwuzz, I am definitely going to continue Al-Anon for now. Thanks so much for your friendship and support. GJ

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    Posted by: ingyandbert
    Date posted: Thu Oct 29 20:50:49 2009
    Message:
    Gail, you're doing great.  Just deal with each step as it comes.  Don't try to look too far ahead, it will only overwhelm you. Just let things play out and trust that you are doing the right thing.

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  • Thanks i&b...one step at a time...one day at a time...great advice. GJ

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    Posted by: PhoenixTamer
    Date posted: Thu Oct 29 20:19:16 2009
    Message:
    I feel like an IDIOT!!! - Gail, I know I missed some stuff for a few weeks there when I was offline but I had NO idea that you and your husband had, sadly, gotten to this point and were taking this action. :(
    I am truly very very sorry :(
    chris

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  • inside
  • Chris I don't have a COMCAST email address anymore...my new email address is inside. (Anybody else is welcome to it to!) GailJ

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    Posted by: vh
    Date posted: Thu Oct 29 19:53:38 2009
    Message:

    How could we not be interested?

    As some of the others have said, you are showing amazing courage.  I think any time we make big changes in our lives, it can leave us feeling like we're on an emotional roller coaster.  Stay strong and ask for support if you need it because it will be hard.

    I'll keep you in my thoughts.

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  • Thanks for sending good vibes to me vh..i really feel them! GJ

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    Posted by: lifetimeviewer
    Date posted: Thu Oct 29 19:30:13 2009
    Message:

    Wishing you all the best, Gail. 

    "

    Lord of love and mercy, I praise Your name and thank You for Your constant presence.  Thank You Lord that You know us, care for us and never take Your eye off us.

     

    Father I ask that you be especially near to Gail during this difficult time in her life.  Please give her strength and wisdom to make tough choices.  Please guide her steps, protect her from those who will try to manipulate her and fill her heart with Your hope, Your peace and Your love.  Lord, please bring uplifting, faith filled, caring people into her life as she rearranges her entire world.

     

    Lord Jesus, please also be with her husband.  Please bring healing to him, give him strength and a desire to do what is right.  I ask that You send people of good influence into his life as well.

     

    In my savior’s name I pray.  Amen."

     

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  • Amen....That was a beautiful prayer, LTV...The best to you GailJ and your husband too.......MeMe
  • OMGosh ltv, I cried while reading your prayer. THANKS so much for that... I've been asking God for the courage and strength to get through this. I know He hears our prayers. Thanks! GJ

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    Posted by: Nichol
    Date posted: Thu Oct 29 19:09:24 2009
    Message:

    I don't know all of your back story Gail, but I wish you the best and hope that you cut yourself come slack.  Being up and down seems perfectly normal to me in regard to your situation. 

    Take care of you~

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  • Thanks Nichol...we are always hardest on OURSELVES I guess. Thank you for your kind words. GJ

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    Posted by: Paula
    Date posted: Thu Oct 29 18:42:06 2009
    Message:
    Gail, hang in there. A lot is going on right now. I went through this 2 yrs ago and the first day in my new place the enormity of what I'd done and what I'd given up finally sank in. I cried off and on through the whole day, even though I didn't want to go back. I missed my husband (and we are still very good friends), but I cried mainly for what we had, could have had, and didn't have. It's a natural thing, part of the grieving process, so don't be surprised if it happens to you. I never cried after that day, so I'm glad I gave in to it then.

    It will help if you remain friendly and in touch from time to time (however often that means to you). It will really ease the adjustment for both of you. It's a big step you're taking, and good for you for taking it.

    Just because we can't/don't want to live with someone anymore doesn't mean we don't still care for them.

    Hang in there, GailJ.

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  • Well said, Paula. ~i&b
  • OMGosh Paula...that's EXACTLY what I'm going thru right now. Thanks so much for caring and understanding. It truly helps! GJ

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    Posted by: Silva
    Date posted: Thu Oct 29 18:26:52 2009
    Message:
    I am so proud of you for having the courage to go ahead with this.  I understand that you are apprehensive; I would be too.  That is true bravery; to be scared and go ahead anyway.  I hope things work out for the best for both of you.  And I'm glad you have such a great boss. 

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  • Silva thanks so much for your words of encouragement!!!! GJ

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