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DOOL Discussion Group
I have always been a goal setter from the beginning of time. In our early years of marriage, I would set goals to try to be gained by the end of the year. For instance, after Kri was born, I realized the need for my own washer and dryer. Mind you, at that time, I had two children and the oldest was two and disposable diapers were so expensive they were not even an option . So we started saving money every month, just for that specific thing. And yes, before the year was over, we had a washer and dryer and they were paid for. Another time we saved for a color TV. Today, Mr. Boo and I have goals set as well. He will be retiring within the month and we already have our big house on the market. We hope to sell it, downsize by a lot, enjoy our retirement seeing sights we haven't visited here in the US. There is a lot more to all of this, but our reasons have been reinforced by the fact that we watched both of our parents wait too long, then were not in good enough health to enjoy retirement.
So now, tell me of a goal you have set. I want a major goal, not something like losing 10 pounds in the next month. Tell me something that will take you at least many months to achieve. Traci is one who has recently set a major goal and I'm am so proud to see that she is already on a fast pace to achieve it. And for Traci, you have grown into such a beautiful and smart young lady, I just can't say enough good things about you. (((HUGS)))
I am very bad at setting goals. I have just "fallen into" many, many aspects of my life, including my career. Now, in the later part of my life (having just turned 55), I wish I had been more goal-oriented in my career path. I wish I would have planned better. If I had I would probably be in a better position today.
That said, I have always saved, not spent impulsively, so that when a major purchase was needed, I was able to afford things. I just didn't generally save with a particular goal in mind.
And over all, I am quite satisfied with my life. I have a good marriage, though (or perhaps because) I married later. Our son is a good, intelligent young man who I am very proud of. While I am not overjoyed with my job, it does provide a comfortable living and health insurance for my family. I have a handful of very good friends who care for me and know a number of people who I believe think highly of me. I am grateful for the life I have.
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Hmmm...my goal is easy!!
To take a vacation with my husband and son. Alone. Together. 10 days. Not another soul in site. Laughter. Beach. Seafood. Music. Sunsets through my son's eyes. The ocean breezes on our faces. Wine, lots of wine after son goes to bed (LOL).
Yes, we are definitely planning it and it will happen soon. No more work to muddle up my life for 10 straight days. And you can HOLD ME TO IT!! (Something cathartic about posting a goal on a public board, makes me want to stick to it! Now if ONLY I could have kept my WLSG goals, sigh!!!)
My goals are kind of intangible right now. I guess these are my goals:
1. Support my kids as they begin their new school year.
2. Adjust to the fact that I don't have a little one home anymore (my baby is in 1st grade). This has been really hard, as it is the first time in 17 years I haven't had a "buddy" home during the day :(.
3. Gradually become competent at my new job. Harder than it sounds, we cover 5 schools, 3000 kids per school nurse. We supervise the health room assistants, go to the special ed meetings at our schools, work with kids with chronic illness or severe disabilties, train staff in health related matters pertaining to students in their room, such as kids with diabetes...and much much more. I actually love my job and my hours, but the red tape of working for a school district can be overwhelming (I swear there is a form and a department for everything!).
4. Spend more time with my friends (heck, make a few friends...that has gone by the wayside over the years at home with my kids).
5. Appreciate every single day, my marriage and my family :)
I like to pay things off, or better yet, save and pay cash whenever possible.
Yet I have a mortgage, of course, and I have had car loans in the past.
Today, one of my subordinates at work was very excited because his new mattress/box springs was due to arrive today. I understand this; mattresses are expensive and a lot of times, we consider them unimportant and push them to the back burner.
But he then told me that he had obtained a loan from the credit union to buy this $700 mattress! This floored me; I would never even consider getting a loan for a $700 item. I would either not buy it and save until I had the money, or at worst, purchase it with a credit card and pay it off ASAP.
This employee is a GS-10, step 3 or more (don't know exactly). But his minimum salary rate, before weekend/holiday pay/OT, is $52,907. This is a single guy with no dependants.
Umm...IMO somebody making this salary, with no children to pay for, should be able to afford a mattress! Whatever.
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Tho we moved into the family (husbands) home and raised 3 great kids, I always wanted a bigger kitchen. I also wanted to have made, a laundry room bc it, the washer and dryer was right in the kitchen area!! So after his parents died, and left the house in to us in our name (we have been renting it all these years and could not afford to do much work) that dream came true. IT took awhile, but I just love that kitchen! I help design it so I was very pleased!
I guess nowdays I want my kids to go to college, gradute get a good job, be happy and healthy. The first one has done that, the 2nd is in 2nd yr. of college, and 3rd in HS. But they might have their goals! LOL
I really do have that ongoing weight loss, exercise goal tho.
I guess but its vague, I would like to get to see England, Scotland, and Irealnd some day. Also New York, so I guess I could work on those goals!
Well, I gotta lose some weight. I did join Curves recently. I have lost inches.
But I have portion control issues, and I married an eater too. I can't be his "eating buddy" anymore.
I am a crazy goal setter AND achiever. In fact, I had started thinking that I somehow always manage to embark on yet another thing and I felt that I was forgetting to just live in the moment. So I am trying to let some things just BE and step away from the tunnel vision that setting goals can sometimes bring with it.
I know you said losing weight doesn't count. But I really did struggle with that. And losing it changed my life in some big ways. So setting and achieving that goal was the start of a lot of things for me. It was 5 years ago when I set out to lose 65 pounds in one year AND keep it off. Here I am 5 years later still fitting in my 'new' clothes.
In 2004 I decided that I would take an unpaid leave of absence from my job to go work and travel in England by myself. I decided that I would save up enough money in that year to be able to support myself without a job for 6 months (in case things went wrong). A lot of people thought I would chicken out and that I wouldn't go. But I did go in 2005 and I got a job after just 2 days of looking!
I came back in October 2006....broke lol. England is sooo expensive and I travelled a lot. I told myself that I would give myself a year (max) to save $20,000 to move out of my parent's home and into my own place and buy new furniture (cash). I did it in July 2007...I created my first home and I love it!! It is worth every penny.
In the past year, I vowed to pay off a $10,000 debt. It was hard because now I had rent to pay. I did what I had to do and next month...the debt is GONE!
My reward for doing all this has always been to get my eyes lasered. I'm going for my surgery (unless I chicken out lol) in October!!!!!
Doing well in school/university has never been a goal for me because I always did well anyway. It's just the way it was so it was never a struggle that I had to set a goal for.
Amidst all this...somehow I still managed to SHOP! LOL I probably would have achieved my goals that much sooner if I hadn't...but I'm not a saint.
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Wow, where to start?
In high school I set a goal of succeeding at competitive public speaking. I managed to become a state champion, which was more than I ever expected. I also set a goal of becoming an exchange student, which was a competitive venture. I worked very hard planning my strategy to win and was successful. I also set a goal of earning my college degree, which I did, and of winning a competitive scholarship to paralegal school, which I did. I set career goals of first becoming a litigation paralegal and later of transitioning to the intellectual property field and was able to meet both those goals.
In terms of personal goals, I bought two homes on a single income and started a business. Those were really satisfying goals because so much hard work went into laying the groundwork for them. Of course, there were also many intangible personal goals over the years. I always seem to be working on something!
-To find a teaching position. I got the degree and the licensure, now I need the job.
-Start moving with my divorce.
-Stand on my own two feet, financially and emotionally, for the first time in my life.
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Paying off my debt is my major goal for the next year and a half. Through college and the couple years after graduation until I found a decent job I did a heck of a job racking up credit card debt. Currently I have 4 credit cards and 2 store specific store credit cards. A few months ago I decided that I really needed to focus on paying as much off as I possibly could. I have improved my credit significantly in the past 3 or 4 years...no more late payments, always paying at the very least more than the minimums, etc. However, I still have a ways to go, and I'll be lucky if I meet my goal by the end of 2009. Thus far I have paid off 1 of my 4 credit cards (the one with the lowest balance, but hey, its a start!) and 1 of my store cards; while also making strides at paying down the others. Another goal that really is one in the same, is to not use my cards. So far, so good. I even booked my plane tickets to Vegas this summer with my debit card! :)
I have always been a goal setter. Every day I set goals for myself. For example, I promised myself that before I go to bed tonight I'll go for a walk/jog and dust the house. I do this every day. For me, I feel like it is more feasible to accomplish those goals I set that are very short term, and I have a harder time feeling like I can accomplish those I set over a long period of time. So, I always try to break them down into daily goals. Losing weight is another of my long term goals, but I've been trying to think of it as a daily thing. My goal for the day is to eat well and exercise. Forget about the 30 or so pounds I want to lose in the long run. Focus on today, and I feel I'll have a better chance of actually getting there!
I hope this made sense. I tend to ramble when it comes to stuff like this. You know...it makes sense in my head, but others look at it and think, "What the....?"
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This is a hard one. If my marriage ends I want it to end with dignity for both of us and I must REMEMBER that the boys see how I treat John and how I exit the situation is soooo important to them and to me. It is hard as alcohol is a big problem. So I have joined an alanon group and my mom is going with me and she has been really supportive. I have to keep reminding myself that I am in this situation because God wants me to learn something from it. First my father and now John. I feel so strongly that how I handle all of this is sooo important to me, my sons,John and also my spiritual journey. I afraid for John, but I cannot control what happens to him.
It weighs heavy on my heart and in my mind.
Thanks Boo.
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This really is funny...
I've always been one to really like paying things off. Well, especially in recent years, and our present two tuitions, we're back in the hole...but we'll be out of it...some day...
But I digress...when I was 16, my mother and I went to a store and she saw a beautiful, very expensive Nativity set. She just gazed at it...we had this little plastic one forever, but this one really struck her. That day, I put $10 in an envelope. I did that on a weekly basis...plus adding some when I had some extra money...all the way through the rest of HS, through college, through grad school, through early marriage. Finally, at age 27, I had enough money and bought it for my parents. Mr. ML and I set it up for her the day after Thanksgiving...she couldn't believe it. And as happy that I was that she was happy, that's how proud I was of myself for having done it.
Since then, I continue to do that...I saved for my parents' 50th anniversary that way. I'm now going to start for The Daughter's (eventual...hopefully, very eventual) wedding...anything will help...
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