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DOOL Discussion Group
You accidentally hit your camper parked in your driveway with your new vehicle as you are backing out of the driveway.
There is approximately $1000 damage done to the vehicle - only cosmetic damage to the camper.
So how does your husband react? I'll tell you how mine did after I've read all your responses!
PB would be initially pissed and would interpret it as a catastrophe. And then he would calm down and fix it....grumbling while he fixes it. And then he would be fine.
For example, this past winter, I was home alone and the power went out in our laundry room while I was doing the wash. The fuse box didn't label that breaker as "laundry room." The breaker was labelled as water softener" or something like that. None of the breakers were in the off position, so I couldn't tell which one had flipped. Well, I tried flipping the breakers that I thought were the right one, but weren't. So, I started systematically flipping on and off all of the breakers until the power was restored to the laundry room.
Afterwards, the computer didn't work. It would do a continuous reboot. PB was not pleased. He said that the motherboard was ruined and now we would have to buy a new computer and how I ruined the computer. I apologized told him that I wouldn't have flipped the breakers if I had known that it would have had this effect on the computer. I said that even though you are supposed to properly power down a computer, there are some times in the past where I've just turned it off from the power source since Windows was acting up and it wouldn't shut down otherwise and the PC was fine. I also told him that I knew he could fix it.
It took about 3 evenings, but he fixed the computer. (One of the advantages of being married to a computer guru is that they actually know how to fix them.) Eventually he got everything up and running except for Microsoft office. By that time, I had already apologized 6 or 7 times and I was pretty much done apologizing for the same 2 second mistake....especially since he will sometimes cause a "blackout" in one of the girls rooms when they are being rude or disrespectful. When he started chastising me again about it because now he was going to have to buy Microsoft office, I was done. I just looked at him squarely in the eye and firmly said "look I'm sorry. I made a mistake. I can't undo it. We can use my bonus to pay for Microsoft office." For whatever reason, that shut him up and he hasn't even mentioned the incident since. LOL.
If I did what you did, PB would be initially pissed and would probably have the same reaction your husband did. Then he would probably take the car or camper in for repairs.
If I were you and after he is in a place where he is a little more relaxed about it (can laugh about his reaction), I would probably say something like "what do you want me to do...give you my left kidney? Oh wait, I already did!"
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He said "gee, your spatial awareness is cr@pper than usual" and laughed. So I guess he wouldn't be too upset (I am a notoriously bad parker....I have no idea where my car is in relation to anything else, and he is always helping me park while laughing at me!)
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Wow, Tina!
1. That is a REALLY crappy situation to be in. Mr. News and I have had our car for nearly a year now, but I KNOW if I did something to it in the first few months, he'd be pissed. But he'd get over it.
2. Mandy is right. It's nice that he's able to express his feelings and apologize for being "curt" when he saw the damage. Clearly, something made of "just plastic, steel, glass and rubber" is very important to him. But he is also happy that you weren't hurt.
3. Traci is MORE right. In his e-mail, he was treating you like an employee. If my husband told me to get something done "in a timely fashion" I'd flip! It may have been my fault the car and camper were damaged, but the car and camper belong to US! It is therefore OUR resposibility to take care of the damage. He's making it seem like you're the one who rear-ended him on the freeway or something. Sure, it's your fault. But sh*t happens! DEAL WITH IT!
Tina, please let us know what happens with the follow-through on this. I'm hoping he'll apologize again for being an ass to you.
Wool would take it better than I would take it. I wish I was as easy going as he is.
I am sorry for what happened. You guys will work it out. Tell him if he does not straighten out, you are going to take your kidney back!
Considering last week I dropped and broke my laptop (not a cheap one, either), and fried the network in the basement when I tried to plug a phone into a jack that was actually only for computer/internet access...and he shook his head, teased me, laughed...then began searching for deals on laptops...he would probably do the same thing if I damaged the car/camper.
He can be a total slob, doesn't know how to operate a hamper lid...but that is part of his laid back nature. Over the years I have mellowed out a lot thanks to him.
I guess he reacted like I thought he would really. But the more I think about it - the more I am upset about it. I mean - we've been married 16 years and I never been in an accident or anything. And I know we've only had the car for 3 months.
I called him and told him I did something to the car and to meet me in the parking lot to look at it. He came over and just said, "Fix it!" and stormed off.
Then he sent me this email (we work at the same place):
I apologize for my curtness, but I am extremely upset about the outlook.
I am assuming you are ok, I am sorry I didn’t ask if you are ok in the beginning. I just assumed you were because you sound find and look fine.
I expect to see the Outlook fixed to like new status as soon as the insurance will allow it. I also expect to see any damage to the camper repaired in an equally timely fashion. If it is damaged where water will leak in, you better cover it or make arrangements to move it to the garage or the repair shop.
I know accidents happen, and I understand you are under a lot of stress and such right now, but… how many times have you backed out of the driveway without incident in the past? It can be done.
I am extremely pissed, but it can be fixed and you are ok… it’s just a F’n pile of plastic, steel, glass and rubber. It can be replaced.
And remember - I just gave this man a kidney. Not to mention 2 beautiful children and 16 years of my life.
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Let me put it this way. John says.....and I quote, "I can't believe I let you drive the children around."
LOL!
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Well, I don't have a husband, so can't comment on part!
I was in the car a few months ago, when the preacher's wife (my friend's mom) backed her car out of the carport, running the side of it along the corner of the preacher's truck! You should have seen the look of shock on all our faces, lol! He was a bit annoyed, but not mad. We did have a story to tell when we got to church!!
~Holly Sarah~
Um...while he would not be thrilled, he would not make a big deal about it and would begin looking at getting it fixed as soon as possible. Troy is very easy going and not too much gets to him. Thank God, because I am a walking drama show.
P. S. Ouch...I'm sorry that happened.
Hubby Em would shrug and say "Eh, it's only money. I'm hungry. Want some Mexican food?". And then he'd take me out to make me feel better.