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Topic: How would your husband react?


Topic Posted by: Tina
Date Posted: Fri May 2 18:06:33 2008
Additional Comments:

You accidentally hit your camper parked in your driveway with your new vehicle as you are backing out of the driveway.

There is approximately $1000 damage done to the vehicle - only cosmetic damage to the camper.

So how does your husband react?  I'll tell you how mine did after I've read all your responses!

 





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Posted by: Sparky
Date posted: Sat May 3 7:34:36 2008
Message:

PB would be initially pissed and would interpret it as a catastrophe. And then he would calm down and fix it....grumbling while he fixes it.  And then he would be fine.

For example, this past winter, I was home alone and the power went out in our laundry room while I was doing the wash.  The fuse box didn't label that breaker as "laundry room." The breaker was labelled as water softener" or something like that.  None of the breakers were in the off position, so I couldn't tell which one had flipped.  Well, I tried flipping the breakers that I thought were the right one, but weren't.  So, I started systematically flipping on and off all of the breakers until the power was restored to the laundry room.

Afterwards, the computer didn't work.  It would do a continuous reboot.  PB was not pleased.  He said that the motherboard was ruined and now we would have to buy a new computer and how I ruined the computer.  I apologized told him that I wouldn't have flipped the breakers if I had known that it would have had this effect on the computer. I said that even though you are supposed to properly power down a computer, there are some times in the past where I've just turned it off from the power source since Windows was acting up and it wouldn't shut down otherwise and the PC was fine.  I also told him that I knew he could fix it.

It took about 3 evenings, but he fixed the computer.  (One of the advantages of being married to a computer guru is that they actually know how to fix them.)  Eventually he got everything up and running except for Microsoft office.  By that time, I had already apologized 6 or 7 times and I was pretty much done apologizing for the same 2 second mistake....especially since he will sometimes cause a "blackout" in one of the girls rooms when they are being rude or disrespectful.  When he started chastising me again about it because now he was going to have to buy Microsoft office, I was done.  I just looked at him squarely in the eye and firmly said "look I'm sorry. I made a mistake. I can't undo it.  We can use my bonus to pay for Microsoft office."  For whatever reason, that shut him up and he hasn't even mentioned the incident since. LOL.

If I did what you did, PB would be initially pissed and would probably have the same reaction your husband did.  Then he would probably take the car or camper in for repairs.

If I were you and after he is in a place where he is a little more relaxed about it (can laugh about his reaction), I would probably say something like "what do you want me to do...give you my left kidney? Oh wait, I already did!"

Replies: (list all replies)

  • Can you drive?
  • That's a random question, but yes. I can drive.............................Sparky

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    Posted by: nics
    Date posted: Sat May 3 2:33:31 2008
    Message:
    Can I just say he responded a lot better than my hubster did.  I think it was within a month of buying our RX-8 in Miami, I took the ladder out to the garage after we'd finished painting for the day.  Well I leaned the ladder the wrong way & it fell on the car - I watched it fall & just couldn't get there in time.  I was totally devastated & knew how pissed the hubster would be.  I went inside bawling my eyes out - told him what had happened & then went & hid in my closet for an hour ro give him time to calm down.  He STILL brings it up & we don't even have the darn car anymore....nics

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    Posted by: jooles
    Date posted: Sat May 3 2:28:43 2008
    Message:
    Well, he's not my husband, but I just read your husband's email to mr jooles and asked him what his response to that situation was....

    He said "gee, your spatial awareness is cr@pper than usual" and laughed. So I guess he wouldn't be too upset (I am a notoriously bad parker....I have no idea where my car is in relation to anything else, and he is always helping me park while laughing at me!)

    Replies: (list all replies)

  • Wow, that makes it sound like I'm a really bad driver! I am a great driver, but cannot park close to the curb LOL. Now it sounds like I'm protesting too much ....anyway.........jooles

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    Posted by: susienews
    Date posted: Sat May 3 1:40:48 2008
    Message:

    Wow, Tina! 

    1.  That is a REALLY crappy situation to be in.  Mr. News and I have had our car for nearly a year now, but I KNOW if I did something to it in the first few months, he'd be pissed.  But he'd get over it.

    2.  Mandy is right.  It's nice that he's able to express his feelings and apologize for being "curt" when he saw the damage.  Clearly, something made of "just plastic, steel, glass and rubber" is very important to him.  But he is also happy that you weren't hurt.

    3.  Traci is MORE right.  In his e-mail, he was treating you like an employee.  If my husband told me to get something done "in a timely fashion" I'd flip!  It may have been my fault the car and camper were damaged, but the car and camper belong to US!  It is therefore OUR resposibility to take care of the damage.  He's making it seem like you're the one who rear-ended him on the freeway or something.  Sure, it's your fault.  But sh*t happens!  DEAL WITH IT! 

    Tina, please let us know what happens with the follow-through on this.  I'm hoping he'll apologize again for being an ass to you. 


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    Posted by: carmen
    Date posted: Sat May 3 0:46:43 2008
    Message:
    he would have been pissed for a little while, especially with a new car. just enough to have a rant. and then he would have been fine. not enough to cause a huge fight.

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    Posted by: DENIM
    Date posted: Sat May 3 0:25:31 2008
    Message:

    Wool would take it better than I would take it.  I wish I was as easy going as he is.

    I am sorry for what happened.  You guys will work it out.  Tell him if he does not straighten out, you are going to take your kidney back!


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    Posted by: Mandy
    Date posted: Fri May 2 23:17:07 2008
    Message:

    Considering  last week I dropped and broke my laptop (not a cheap one, either), and fried the network in the basement when I tried to plug a phone into a jack that was actually only for computer/internet access...and he shook his head, teased me, laughed...then began searching for deals on laptops...he would probably do the same thing if I damaged the car/camper.

    He can be a total slob, doesn't know how to operate a hamper lid...but that is part of his laid back nature.  Over the years I have mellowed out a lot thanks to him.


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    Posted by: Wendy
    Date posted: Fri May 2 21:52:33 2008
    Message:
    He would probably just ask if I were ok, roll his eyes and sigh, knowing if he said more I would remind him of the time not so long ago he backed right into the garage door.

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    Posted by: Tina
    Date posted: Fri May 2 21:52:01 2008
    Message:

    I guess he reacted like I thought he would really.  But the more I think about it - the more I am upset about it.  I mean - we've been married 16 years and I never been in an accident or anything.  And I know we've only had the car for 3 months.

    I called him and told him I did something to the car and to meet me in the parking lot to look at it.  He came over and just said, "Fix it!" and stormed off.

    Then he sent me this email (we work at the same place):

    I apologize for my curtness, but I am extremely upset about the outlook.

     I am assuming you are ok, I am sorry I didn’t ask if you are ok in the beginning.  I just assumed you were because you sound find and look fine.

    I expect to see the Outlook fixed to like new status as soon as the insurance will allow it.  I also expect to see any damage to the camper repaired in an equally timely fashion.  If it is damaged where water will leak in, you better cover it or make arrangements to move it to the garage or the repair shop. 

    I know accidents happen, and I understand you are under a lot of stress and such right now, but… how many times have you backed out of the driveway without incident in the past?  It can be done. 

    I am extremely pissed, but it can be fixed and you are ok… it’s just a F’n pile of plastic, steel, glass and rubber.  It can be replaced.

     

    And remember - I just gave this man a kidney.  Not to mention 2 beautiful children and 16 years of my life.

    Replies: (list all replies)

  • Here's your response...ready? ''And I expect that by the time that I get home there will be a box of Godiva chocolates and AT LEAST one dozen (12) roses awaiting me on the kitchen table. And I expect a full apology for you being such an a$$hole to me over a F'n pile of plastic, steel, glass and rubber that can be replaced.'' eom (ML)
  • ML!! ROTF!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Good one!! Tina, before this thing with my mom, I used to get upset over stuff like this too. Like if Ken wrecked Bob, I have to admit, I'd be pissed. Bob is my pride&joy(because he is a collector car!!!)...BUT, cars CAN BE REPLACED...people cannot. The car and camper can EASILY be fixed. NOT a big thing. Really. In the larger scale of things, Tina, this is SOOOOO small. Tell your husband that this is tiny, really. Don't allow this to cause either of you anxiety. Its SO not worth it...Kat
  • OK...here is my take. yes his email is a bit abrupt. BUT...I think it is great he can be so honest with you about how he feels. And, he even goes so far as to admit that the important thing is you are OK and it can all be fixed. That is the important thing. We all have things that tick us off, apparently he likes his car and camper :)...Mandy
  • OMG!!! My mouth was just hanging open through most of that email! Yes, I think it's ok that he's upset -- I think that's human to be upset, he has that right, we all have that right. But, for him to talk to you like an employee about this is just uncalled for!! He totally talked down to you like you were so much lesser than him!! -- Traci
  • Well shame on him! Tell him you just ''loaned'' him the kidney and time's up!~~sandy
  • And I'm back. Let's think about this a minute...HE E-MAILED YOU? Oh, that would be enough for me...yeah, yeah...he's at work and all. But E-MAIL? Um, not in ML World...and he owes you an apology still...with chocolate and roses...eom (ML)
  • LOTS of chocolate!~~sandy

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    Posted by: ML
    Date posted: Fri May 2 20:49:01 2008
    Message:
    No reaction whatsoever...maybe laughter. The Daughter hit the side of the house with the van...and then I did it a couple of months later. He'd probably figure it would happen sooner or later...

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    Posted by: lifetimeviewer
    Date posted: Fri May 2 20:44:53 2008
    Message:
    Hubbylifetime would be angry, he'd say a few choice words and then get over it.  He'd call the insurance company and take care of the repair.  Forever after he'd make sure he parked the camper well away from the new car though.

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    Posted by: Nicki
    Date posted: Fri May 2 20:37:46 2008
    Message:
    LOL! hubby N would have a heart attack..lol...and yeah, not be too pleased about it...oh well.

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    Posted by: LISA K
    Date posted: Fri May 2 20:11:26 2008
    Message:

    Let me put it this way. John says.....and I quote, "I can't believe I let you drive the children around."

    LOL!


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    Posted by: Kat
    Date posted: Fri May 2 20:00:12 2008
    Message:
    Ken wouldn't be angry. He wouldn't be happy, if it was the Camaro! LOL! But he wouldn't be angry. He always tells me this - if we wreck it, we'll fix it! No big deal! I always tell him that I fear hurting Bob, my Camaro(my baby). But he always tells me not to worry. If we get into an accident(heaven forbid) we'll simply get it fixed.

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    Posted by: sandy
    Date posted: Fri May 2 19:56:52 2008
    Message:
    He would not be angry because he knows I am usually a careful driver and things happen.

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    Posted by: Nichol
    Date posted: Fri May 2 19:24:21 2008
    Message:
    My husband would not be upset at all.  He would make sure I was ok and then we would figure out how to fix the damage.  He would tease me about it forever though. :0)

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    Posted by: auntie en
    Date posted: Fri May 2 19:15:16 2008
    Message:
    Considering my husband gets upset when pollen falls on his car, it would depend on which car I was driving--if it was mine he wouldn't care at all, if it was his he would suppress his anger and then look at the budget to see how long we would have to eat Ramen for dinner in order to pay for it to get done asap. I am not entirely sure what a camper is, so I don't know if that is something upsetting or not. I am guessing it is not a small child all packed up and ready to go to camp. Because when I was a counselor at a YMCA camp, that is what a camper was. Do you mean like an RV?

    Replies: (list all replies)

  • LOL! We have a pop up camper - much much smaller version of an RV - that you tow behind a vehicle. It doesn't drive itself. Tina

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    Posted by:
    Date posted: Fri May 2 18:48:41 2008
    Message:

    Well, I don't have a husband, so can't comment on part!

    I was in the car a few months ago, when the preacher's wife (my friend's mom) backed her car out of the carport, running the side of it along the corner of the preacher's truck!  You should have seen the look of shock on all our faces, lol!  He was a bit annoyed, but not mad.  We did have a story to tell when we got to church!!

    ~Holly Sarah~


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    Posted by: Lisa P
    Date posted: Fri May 2 18:46:11 2008
    Message:
    My hubby would not care about the car or anything. He would only care that I am okay. Of course, I'd never live it down. He would tease me for years to come :-)

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    Posted by: Romy
    Date posted: Fri May 2 18:33:01 2008
    Message:

    Um...while he would not be thrilled, he would not make a big deal about it and would begin looking at getting it fixed as soon as possible. Troy is very easy going and not too much gets to him. Thank God, because I am a walking drama show.

    P. S. Ouch...I'm sorry that happened.


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    Posted by: emmy
    Date posted: Fri May 2 18:28:56 2008
    Message:

    Hubby Em would shrug and say "Eh, it's only money.  I'm hungry. Want some Mexican food?".  And then he'd take me out to make me feel better.


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