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Topic: The 3 S's


Topic Posted by: Romy
Date Posted: Tue Apr 29 13:24:50 2008
Additional Comments:

It is time I come out of the closet and admit that I suffer from a severe case of the 3 S's. Spoiled, Self Centered and Selfish. I would like to tell you that it is not my fault, that I was raised this way but then that would simply just prove my initial point. Most of the time I am able to rein in the 3 S's and I do okay. I am not as bad as I was and am slowly but surely learning how to deal with my personality issues. Now, when I say I am spoiled I don't mean as in...buy me everything I want or else I will throw a temper tantrum. Nope, that is not me. I am spoiled in a sense that I believe it is my true right to have everyone's attention. Well, everyone that I care about and see on a daily basis. I am learning that is a pipe dream. When I say that I am self-centered, I do not mean that I think I am the most beautiful, intelligent or well dressed woman EVER..I mean that I think the world should revolve around me. No, not everyone..just those that I love and love me back. I am slowly learning that I am not the center of the universe. Selfish..hmm, I am the type of person that will give anyone anything that I have if you need it. I don't care what it is but if I own it or can buy it..you need it and ask..I will give it to you. I am selfish in a sense that I don't like to share my time with just anyone. My time with Troy, my sisters, my friends...my time. Not my time to share with that person and others...nope. MY TIME!!!

All of these issues are coming to a screeching halt because my husband is so down to earth he refuses to allow me to have diva time 24/7. I am allowed moments but they are fleeting. This past weekend we had a um..disagreement because I was being a twit. Twit is codeword for an evil spoiled brat. He let me know in no uncertain terms that while he loves me with all he is that he will not nurture any bad habits of mine.  WHATTTT? I will not always get my way? Didn't he read the fine print on our marriage certificate? You won't fall at my feet just because I think you should? HUH? Not only that, but he also informed me that he was going for a late night hike/camping trip because I needed some time to cool off.  I called my sister Veronica who is like my mother and was crying to her about it and she...laughed and said "good for Troy". Wait..what? Isn't it THEIR fault for making me the center of their world when I was growing up? Yes..I blame THEM! I shared these feelings with Veronica and she laughed harder. Sigh. 

I am learning compromise is so damn important. It isn't all about me.  *GASP*!!! It is a cruel, cruel world.

At the age of 35, I am learning more about myself then I ever thought I could. It's scary to realize you are a lot of things you dislike in others.  I am such a work in progress...but that is a good thing. I think. lol. The point is that I am working so hard to iron out all my "quirks". Luckily, I am not as bad as I was in my 20's and am mellowing out big time. Most of the time.

What personality ailments are you suffering from? Fess up...are you a diva? Martyr? Or one of those rare breeds that kinda has it all together?





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Posted by: Kri
Date posted: Tue Apr 29 23:24:51 2008
Message:
I am a DIVA wanna be. I'd just like to have enough money to justify acting like a diva ;o) As it stands now, I don't LOL!

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Posted by: Traci
Date posted: Tue Apr 29 23:15:31 2008
Message:

I totally missed this topic earlier today!!  You're too funny, Romy!!  :) 

I guess mine would be that I'm too much of an open book sometimes.  I NEED to talk about stuff, any stuff, ALL details going on in my life.  I think I realized that when I was describing losing my mucous plug to my best friend when I was pregnant with Logan.  LOL  I kinda stopped mid sentence and was like "whoah, I really need to just tell you EVERYTHING, don't I??"  haha  >>  I'm like that here too....I find I need to just talk about my life.  To anyone that will listen.  And even those that haven't chosen to listen.  LOL


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Posted by: toptee
Date posted: Tue Apr 29 22:44:02 2008
Message:

 All together, sigh.....

 

BWAHAHAHAHWHAWHHAHWHWHAWHA.......Yep, that's me!

 

In your FREAKIN' DREAMS. I WISH.

No way do I have it together. I am a mess who seems to always be trying to get it done and as my husband sees it...."perfectly"...I feel I have to make sure everyone is OK and where they need to be with all the appropriate items. Very sad, indeed.

But, I'm cute. That helps, I find..............:).........t


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Posted by: misspm
Date posted: Tue Apr 29 20:37:33 2008
Message:

I thought this was going to be about a different set of 3 S's : No Seconds, No Sweets, No Snacks, except on days that begin with S. LOL (BTW-no I don't folow this-I need two snacks a day)

Anyway-my issue is that I l really value efficiency-and I have and am learning to give others space when it comes to things that I think require it.  I have to remember that this is not a value to everyone and try not to grumble and complain when people can't or don't or don't feel a need to plan or be organized or do things on a level that would make me happy (except for when they are working for me). I have stopped mumbling under my breath that they are incompetent-because that isn't nice (LOL).

I guess my issue is PERFECTIONISM-and learning not to require it of others, because it isn't a life requirement-just one of mine :-)


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Posted by: toader
Date posted: Tue Apr 29 16:42:35 2008
Message:
I'm martyr, but I am so good at it, I keep it to myself.

Replies: (list all replies)

  • Hahaha, cgem eom
  • Omg..too funny. lol. Romy

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    Posted by: Sarah
    Date posted: Tue Apr 29 16:37:36 2008
    Message:

    Sarah= spoiled, selfish, self-centered, and stubborn. Extremely stubborn. I'm also a control freak. I feel like I have to be in control ALL OF THE TIME. So much so, that I almost can't let myself be goofy with my kid(s). I admire my youngest sister, because she can just joke around and play around with her kids. They enjoy it so much. I just can't do it, or if I do, it's rarely and doesn't last long.

    C spoils me and let's me be in control. He knows that I want things done a certain way and he does them that way (or tries to). I think he's starting to figure me out. If I want something, he will make sure that I get it. He doesn't realize what a monster he is creating. LOL.

    I can be giving too though. I like to do nice things for people if they deserve it.

    Replies: (list all replies)

  • Lol..poor C. He has no idea. GOOD! Do you remember the book you sent me last year? You took the time to even write silly little captions and everything. It so came at the perfect time...I can't thank you enough for that. There is just something about words that start with the letter S, huh? lol. You really are so much fun and it's okay to show that side...easier said then done, huh? love ya, my friend. Romy

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    Posted by: ingyandbert
    Date posted: Tue Apr 29 15:55:12 2008
    Message:

    Oh, boy!  I'd have to say I'm a bit like Kat and Sandy.  I grew up in a situation where my parents felt their only obligation was a roof and 3 squares a day.  No guidance, no nuturing, no parenting whatsoever.  In fact, for the last few years of high school I lived alone in our house and  because they moved to some other property we had a few hours away (I refused to go, so they decided I could stay behind).  I became very accustomed to having time alone and fending for myself since I had no one to depend on.  No one ''took care'' of me until Mr. Ingy came along and insisted on taking some of the load off my shoulders. He could see that as strong as I am, after all those years I felt weary sometimes. So he treats me like the princess that I am (lol!) and I try not to abuse that generosity.  And though I love every minute of being with him, it's hard to let go of always being the one in control and not having to accommodate anyone else.  It had been second nature for most of my life but I've adapted to shared responsibility for the most part. 

    And there's one other thing:  I do not suffer fools.  At all.  Knowing I have the ability to cut like a knife, I yield it as rarely as possible.  But it's HARD!

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  • I remember us emailing a bit about our childhoods and it was astounding to me how headstrong and brave you were as a child/young adult. Doesn't surprise me though. It's funny, for as spoiled as I am at times..I really do insist on taking care of myself. The first time I went through chemo I refused to move home and I handled it on my own. I feel better being in control of my own life and decisions. That is a big topic of discussion in our marriage. Big. My relationship with my mother was strained..to say the least but once I moved out at age ten and moved in with my older sister..my whole world changed. I am forever grateful for her and the endless supply of love and support she has given me. Troy would like it if I was a bit more open about things. I am the queen of faux intimacy. Something that I work on daily....it is just so hard for me to let go of total control. One of the only things in life that scares me. Thank God Troy is a patient man. Mr. Ingy sounds wonderful...you are both pretty lucky. Romy
  • LOL, we are a lot alike. I hate not feeling in control. That's why I hate to cry and fight it with everything I have! You're right, Mr. Ingy is one in a million as I suspect Troy is, too. ~i&b

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    Posted by: Kat
    Date posted: Tue Apr 29 14:33:15 2008
    Message:
    Great post, Romy!!! I was laughing at you! I'm more like Sandy in that I need control in everything around me because if I don't have control, it causes much hated anxiety. As far as spoiled goes, I am, in a way. Not to an extreme though. I do my share around here, mind you. I don't need to buy everything my heart might desire. I don't need Kens undivided attention 24/7. Fact is, I'm a loner. I like my alone time. He often gets on my nerves. Everyone gets on my nerves. I'm very much like George Carlin when he says - "Some people get the wrong idea nand think I hate people. I like people! I do! I can take...maybe, 1...2 minutes of 'em!" Thats me! Matter of fact, I don't truthfully care if I'm not the center of the universe. As far as being selfish, I certainly am 110% selfish!! I don't want to do anything for anyone! Thats why I didn't have kids. I HATE, with passion, having to care for anyone! Take care of yourself, Goddammit!!!!! Don't lean on my ass! I'm taking care of myself. I guess that ties in with self-centered. This is MY life and I only have ONE. Just ONE. As far as I know, there ain't no afterlife and I wouldn't want it anyway! So, here it is! I'm NOT wasting my time on anyone else. As far as Ken and I go - we share things, but he takes on just as much as I do, so we're pretty even. He never asks me to do this or that - never demands anything. Spoiled people who go out and buy things and brag about it bother me no end. I know SO many little Princesses. Hate 'em. Hate 'em and won't waste my precious time on them.

    Replies: (list all replies)

  • Lol...oh, Kat. You never cease to make me smile. Romy
  • I'm crazy, aren't I??? :) Kat
  • Nope, not at all. You are our eccentric and incredibly sweet Kat. lol. :) Romy
  • Romy Kat is one of the dearest people I know. And her quirkyness is what endears her to me~~sandy
  • OMG!! Romy & Sandy!! You guys made my day!!! LOL! Thank you!! Kat
  • Kat is one of my favorites ever. Love ya Kathleen! :) eom-shar

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    Posted by: ML
    Date posted: Tue Apr 29 14:26:10 2008
    Message:

    Nah, can't call myself a diva. And being that I truly am the center of my parents' and Mr. ML's world, I really don't need much more attention. Actually, I'd really go over the edge...

    I'll add stubborn to that one. OMG...if I get something in my head...especially an INJUSTICE of some type from a person in authority, I go absolutely ballistic. The horses I've mounted as I've ridden into battle...holy cow. My friend and I laugh over some of the battles...they seem really trivial now. But at certain times of life, they are SO important.

    You know what the difference is now, too, Romy? There's a kid in your life. Somehow, that tends to put things in perspective...the pecking order changes, as it well should...

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  • Oh, I forgot that S. I am stubborn as can be. Which has served me very well in life...most of the time. I was the apple of my dad's eye until he passed away, was basically ignored by my mother but always adored by my sisters. I think that has a lot to do with my personality now. Oh trust me..having J around has changed a lot of things in my world. A lot. Romy

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    Posted by: susienews
    Date posted: Tue Apr 29 14:18:40 2008
    Message:

    I'll be brief.  Suffice it to say that there is another 'S' synonym for those three words you mentioned - SUSIE.

    It's like you're in my head sometimes. 

     Glitter Princess  <-- me 

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  • Scary, huh? lol. Romy

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    Posted by: sandy
    Date posted: Tue Apr 29 14:07:23 2008
    Message:
    Actually if my feet didn't hurt so much I'd ask for those heels from last week!

    My bad trait is probably wanting to be in control. That probably comes from my bad first marriage and the fact I had no control over anything. My sweet man just lets me do what I want, not that it's that much but I make most of the decisions and he likes it that way. We are redoing the front of the house and yesterday I saw a shrub that we had discussed getting. Well I saw one and decided rather than get it I would see what he thought. When he called last night I told him about it and wanted to know if he thought it was too expensive. He said, "Why are you asking me?" I said, "well I thought I would include you in the decision for a change". That totally cracked him up and he said, "you should know by now anything you want is ok with me." I count my blessings every day.

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  • I just realized I don't have S's but a great big C (for control that is) ; )~sandy
  • How about ''sovreignty?'' eom (ML)
  • That would be good and I did forget about stubborn. Blame it on my German ancestors. When I see some injustice I am always writing letters to the editor and they always get printed so I must not be too far off.~~sandy
  • Take a look at my post above...must be in the stars...again...eom (ML)
  • I think you are right, the two of us would be great crusaders although I won't wear that tin hat the crusaders wore. I hate hats LOL!~~sandy
  • Oh, you know I would share my shoes with ya. Mr. Sandy is equally as blessed. Romy
  • I think we'd look great in things...let alone the cute little chain-mail outfits...inside...eom (ML)
  • Oh cool ML a chain-mail teddy! Leave it to you to find that LOL.~~sandy

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    Posted by: lifetimeviewer
    Date posted: Tue Apr 29 14:03:04 2008
    Message:

    I too suffer from the same three "S"s and actually have a 4th; sluggishness.  As in lazy.  You see being older than you, I've picked up an additional S.  I figure in a few more years I will be suffering from the 5Ss; Spoiled, Self-Centered, Selfish, Sluggishness and Senile.  Enjoy your youth, you pick up Ss as you age:-)

    I hate being told "NO".  As if!  I was the baby of the family, my only sibling is 12 years older than I so I came by my spoiled, selfish, self-centeredness quite naturally.  My dad treated me like and had me believing I was a princess.  Apparently the rest of the world missed that memo.

    Replies: (list all replies)

  • Shesh, you should recirculate that memo. Lol. Oh...senile. Can't wait. lol. Romy

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    Posted by: Paulsmom
    Date posted: Tue Apr 29 13:51:43 2008
    Message:

    Forget the purses.  I want a house. Not an expensive one. Even a doublewide will do (as long as it's on a foundation).

     

    LOL!

     

    I don't know what trait I am. I guess Martyr if any. Beats me!

     

     

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  • Lol. I think you are like Cgem...a giver. You give and give of yourself and rarely worry about what it is doing to you. Well, that was the old you with whatshisname..I think the new Mr. PM is way better suited for you and realizes your worth. Romy

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    Posted by: Blondie
    Date posted: Tue Apr 29 13:40:34 2008
    Message:
    I am a total control freak.  I also worry and obsess about things (unnecessarily, according to my hubby).  I try and let others do things for me (hubby, mainly) but it ain't easy.  I wish I could be more laid back like he is.....sigh.  Maybe some day.

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  • Oh, I hate worrying. I rarely worry about myself, typically just about everyone else. See how I made that all about me? SELFISH! Romy
  • Thats a sure sign of anxiety!!! Kat

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    Posted by: cgeminime2
    Date posted: Tue Apr 29 13:33:15 2008
    Message:
    I almost did not make it past your first three sentences I was LMAO so hard!

    I just emailed you my mailing address...I'll take one Gucci, one Coach and LV bag please and thank you : ) Oh yeah, I could also use a new designer watch in pink...I trust your judgment.

    Honestly, I am a giver. I often forget to set boundaries and have to put things in reverse, which is not always so easy, once you have allowed people to walk all over you.

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  • No problem. You show me where it is written that you NEED some fancy purses and I will send them over. A giver? Then give me chubbykins. Romy
  • Let it be known (and written) that Cgem is NEED of these things, lol. Hey, or maybe we could just trade to make it look like we both got new bags, lol. cgem eom
  • LOL! Oh...it's a deal! Send me the chubbola..and you can have all my purses. Come on..you can have another one. Romy
  • I need a babysitter, this weekend : ) cgem eom

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    Posted by: Lisa P
    Date posted: Tue Apr 29 13:32:33 2008
    Message:
    My hubby started out spoiling me pretty bad. I remember the first time he told me "no." I was like WTH? Did that word really come out of him? :-)
    It's good to recognize things about ourselves. I am realizing a problem I have and I need to work on it.

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  • Troy has no issues saying no. lol. It's good for me though..builds character. Or so he says. Hmmm. Actually, he is so level headed and would never make any decision without me. It really is amazing when you find someone who respects you and HIMSELF. It's nice. Romy

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