This is just a little mini-update that made me laugh, I loved it!
Ok, so yesterday MIL wanted to go get Kelli from daycare to spend the day with her. I have zero problem with that. And I guess I've just kinda given up or put it on the back burner, on her spending one on one time with Logan. So, I just said that was fine with me.
Well, after she picked her up, Toby called her. I had not said one negative thing about the whole thing (for once! LOL). HE called her on his own and said, "so, how did Logan react when you picked up Kelli?" She said that he saw her before Kelli did, and he ran to her. Patricia's (that's the daycare lady) mom asked MIL if she was taking Logan too? MIL said, "no, I can't handle both of them on my own yet". You know what Pat's mom said? She said, "That's ok, I'm gonna take Logan somewhere by himself so that he gets to go somewhere too" Kinda like a slap in the face, like "If you're not going to be his grandma, then I will!!!" I loved it!! :)
This is one of the reasons I chose an inhome daycare as opposed to a traditional one. It's more like a family environment, Patricia, her mom, and her aunt love both of my kids....equally too!! :)
Posted by: Sparky Date posted: Thu May 1 14:24:19 2008
Message:
This reminds me of one of my favorite expressions. Revenge is a dish best served cold.
See, you didn't have to be mean or nag your MIL. Pat's mom delivered the message for you...in a really nice and thoughtful way. Too sweet!
Posted by: Wendy Date posted: Wed Apr 30 18:42:50 2008
Message: Weird Grandma indeed. When my triplets were little my mom would beg to take them. Me and others said 3 at once? She was-whats the big deal. She said she taught kindergarten for 30 yrs with 25 in a class-3 babies/toddlers were not a big deal. I love my Mommy!
Posted by: Kat Date posted: Wed Apr 30 17:09:23 2008
Message: I'm sure it breaks your heart that your MIL prefers Kelli to Logan, but thats just the way it is. Good that you accept it. I'm not so sure that any more attention should be given to it. She has just obviously picked Kelli to be Grandma's little girl. What about a Grandpa?? Is Toby's dad alive? Can he do things with Logan - guy stuff?? That would be cool!
Posted by: Bonk5 Date posted: Wed Apr 30 16:13:53 2008
Message: I always used the home day care, I do love it is like home! The day care lady, Diane had a daughter about my daughters age so they were really close. Di would take them places and always call me, if someone got hurt.
I really think your MIL, really can not deal with 2 kids as toddlers. I bet if Logan was first, she would be with him more, its the age. Even tho she raised a son, that was many years ago and she is now older.
So that might be part of it. And if she just had sons, she might want to spoil a girl a bit!
I am sure as Logan ages it will be better. There will also be males in the family that will do things with him, not Kelli. Then you will be worried aobut her! LOL
It is just like that in some families! Glad you are relaxing about it (the MIL and Logan stuff) Carry on!!
Maybe between Pat's mom and then your husband's comments, it will give her pause to think (?) In any case I hope she does so soon, because Logan won't stay oblivious to it much longer.
I'm glad your husband was the one to call her instead of you-that was a good move on his part.
I think you're handling it pretty well. Me, I'd probably give my mom hell if she ever did that, but since she won't get any grandkids from me, I don't have to worry about it. But then again, my brother and I are the favored grandchildren, and that's because we actually interact with Pop and acknowledge him. I guess she just doesn't realize what she's doing favoring Kelli over Logan.
Posted by: ingyandbert Date posted: Wed Apr 30 12:53:07 2008
Message: Is she even aware of how her behavior is coming off? She may not see that her behavior can be interpreted as rejecting Logan. If it were me, I'd have to have my husband point it out to her. That way, if it's not intentional she can change the dynamic before Logan is old enough to realize the favoritism and if it is intentional, it can be dealt with. However, that's just my way of handling it. You've got your own way that seems to be working for you.
Posted by: sandy Date posted: Wed Apr 30 12:44:39 2008
Message: Sometimes you just need to pick your battles and she doesn't deserve Logan's love. You guys can give him enough and she'll end up being the loser.
I gotta say that I just think it's terrible that she's showing such favoritism. My kids' grandparents would NEVER do that in a million years. I don't get it at all.
Good for Pat for (hopefully) making her feel a little bit guilty.
If his own grandma won't make him feel special, then Pat can! He will remember his special times with Pat!
I'm lucky that Grammie is so crazy about Paul (maybe Paul is her ''Kelli''). Ha, I have already told her that if I have another, she'll be it's grandma, although that will be weird because they won't be related at all.
I bet when Logie gets a little bigger, maybe around Kelli's age, she might feel like she can handle it better. We can only hope!
Posted by: ML Date posted: Wed Apr 30 12:11:12 2008
Message: I'm glad you've come to terms with this, Traci. I can't figure it out...but you just can't force feelings on someone. I dunno...and I'm really glad you have such a good childcare provider...
