Topic: Question/poll based on Monday's repeat show - would you or wouldn't you?
Topic Posted by: auntgrace
Date Posted: Wed Sep 3 17:25:26 2008
Additional Comments:
(Monday's repeat was the Jesse & Angie wedding/shoot 'em up/helicopter extravaganza! Watching again made me ponder...)
When Julia was dying, she opted not to let Kathy come see her before she passed away.
If I was the kid, I'd have wanted the opportunity to say goodbye and would be angry that I didn't.
OTOH, I understand Julia's not wanting Kathy to 'see her like that'. I'm sure she thought that was best for Kathy.
If you were in the situation, would you see your child one last time, say your final goodbyes and I love yous;
or would you prevent your child from 'seeing you like that' and letting that be their last memory of you?
Personally, I'd have to see my kid again b4 leaving this mortal coil.... Is that selfish?
What would you do and why?
Posted by: tweety Date posted: Thu Sep 4 14:08:25 2008
Message: No, not if my child was as young as Kathy. I would want her to remember me as she last saw me. I can't imagine a child's last image of their mother being the mother bleeding and dying in a hospital bed.
Posted by: understatement Date posted: Thu Sep 4 12:55:18 2008
Message: If I were dying like that, I'd want to spare my child as much pain as possible. And no, I wouldn't want her last memory of me to be the deathbed! However, I WOULD leave a loving message for her with some close friend or family member, to be delivered in later years when hopefully, the child would be better able to comprehend.
I think Julia did the right thing....I would much rather have had the last memories of my parents as they were when they were alive...My dad was so enthused with life...he would wake up singing and go to bed the same way....to see him laying so still and pale in the coffin has haunted me for the past 47 years.....My mom had a heck of a sense of humor, could see the funny side of life, and I was with her when she died...I closed her eyes....would have much rather remembered her laughing and enjoying life...I think I would like to spare my kids from those kind of memories...would want them to remember me laughing, joking and enjoying life....
Posted by: Missing Lena Date posted: Wed Sep 3 23:47:09 2008
Message:
I wish I hadn't seen my mother dead--the funeral parlor made such a mess of her, getting her hair color and complexion so wrong, and her face was all distorted. And my last memory of my father is equally atrocious, I won't even describe it. I wish I'd been left with earlier, happier memories instead of the ghastly shells they were in death.
So I vote along with Julia. It's far better that Kathy remember the good images.
I think at Kathy's age she should have seen her, children are very confused about death and they should know the truth and then they can have closure. I am still angry about Julia's death, they could have done surgery for her injury, it was so bogus, a perforated liver can be repaired.
I think, depending on the age (not under 4 years old) that I would want to see the child so perhaps he or she could have some closure. However in this story line, I think because the little girl had gone to Julia after her other adoptive parents were killed, Julia thought it would be just too much for her to have to go through this again.
